My, you’re all a sensitive bunch! I wrote a little ha-ha peevish thing yesterday and now everyone thinks I’m mad. This is what I do for fun, kids. Since everyone’s having trouble reading my feelings, I am going to have to resort to emoticons. They’re feelings for the Internet!

The first requisite icon when dealing with Anil is the blank-face smiley, depicted with the 😐 symbol. I picked this up on an online community full of people who can appreciate such things. It can mean a few different things, like dead seriousness, or a straight-faced unwillingness to concede the humor of a moment. Deadpan as an emoticon neatly subverts the will of those who normally use emoticons. Take that, you smiley bastards!

Even better was the new smiley that Jane coined last week, the smiley face in air quotes. Behold:

":)"

Insincerity! Mocking! Sarcasm! Spite! Bile! Everything that smiley-users detest. It’s perfectly perfect.

So remember, kids, the next time ole’ Uncle Anil’s talking about "I hate this and that and blah blah blah" make sure to mentally insert a ":)" at the end of it. Kidding? No, I’m only serious! Let others innovate around FOAF and XML and RSD and other random technologies. I’m working on helping misanthropes express themselves on the web.

😐