When I was younger, I used to dress much more outrageously. I’m quite fond of telling people, “I’m old and boring now” and my chief evidence is that I don’t wear anything interesting or say anything particularly contrary anymore.

A staple of my “hey, I’m wacky, look at me!” wardrobe was a pair of red jeans. These weren’t tasteful, understated red jeans. Nor were they incredibly cool Rock Star red jeans. They were oddly-cut jeans that happened to be bright red. For men’s jeans in the early 90s, they were also unusually low cut. But no matter, I had a nice stomach then and they suited my goals well. (My goal: To draw people’s attention by wearing red pants.)

I was reminded of my misspent youth, of being so naive to think that another silly color for denim fabric was a form of rebellion, that turning people’s heads made any damned difference in the world, when I saw eggpants. That egg is as cool as the younger me had hoped to be.

Go, egg, go! Now I have to figure out a new way to be cool. [Any suggestions](javascript:viewComments(4429919))? ( // echo commentCount(4429919); ?>)