Signs that your recently-calculated tax burden is a wee bit too high: When "we couldn’t stand each other anymore" seems like an unreasonably capricious, ill-considered and fiscally irresponsible reason to have ended a relationship during fiscal year 2000.

Well, yes, I do live in New York City, New York County, New York State, United States of America. Thank you very much. And I distinctly remember having said we don’t need so damn many roads around here.

While I’m ranting about taxes, I have an important request, too. Sure, e-filing and tele-filing and techno-filing and all those other things are great, but I’m more interested in the Buddy System for paying and filing taxes. You know, so I can settle it like a bar tab at the end of the evening. "Uncle Sam? Oh yeah, I owe you a couple of bucks, but I’m good for it because Rudy Giuliani owes me some back. Rudy, you can just give it directly to Sam. Sure. No problem. See you guys next year."